“I know who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.”
I don’t feel comfortable around people. I don’t feel like myself, I just feel like I am trying to be someone else every time to adjust. I know I don’t need to but I can’t help it. I saw I was like a chameleon changing personalities constantly, sometimes causing me to forget who I was before. After having a number of mental breakdowns in a very short period of time, I realized this whole situation is actually a problem in my life. This, trying to form multi-personality, ends up creating a parasite inside me, I feel pain. This thing, I am doing to myself, is killing me inside. I don’t like people. I don’t want people.
The piece was a two day-performance, made in a cemetery, occupying a remarkable space. The whole performance is filmed, and photographed afterwards. It was installed in a narrow, long space just by the window, allowing entrance from the middle which divides the space into two. On the left the piece itself -which was brought to the room- was hanged, like a thrown cloth to the back of a chair, from 2,5 meters height; with fresh and sere leaves inside. On the right, the world ‘loopous’ was placed approximately at 135 cm height just on the side of the wall. On the same perspective you could see the printed cemetery scene of the piece, but the wire lines in the photo was invisible from that distance, supporting the immateriality concept visually. The 0.3 mm wire used was the subject that creates the immateriality with visual invisibility even to the performance itself. It was unbelievably difficult to make the performance, as the lines were almost invisible from quite a close distance. The performance was made in the middle of a beautiful cemetery scene, around the gravestones; it was also invisible looking from the path 4 meters away. The scene was incredibly peaceful although it was in a cemetery, fulfilling the need of an isolating atmosphere. The choice of the place suggests a meditative action of a remedial process, as en escape from an internal conflict might have been caused by a social situation, as the remedy is being searched in such place. The word created for the piece ‘loopous’ (loop-ous) means to be full of/ to be composed of loops. It is pronounced just as the same with the word ‘lupus’. It gives a clue of what the work is about, suggests that if it might be the image of a spreading deadly tissue. It makes the audience to question if this parasite is an inevitable loop that invading the artist.
Carroll, L., & Blum, A. (1968). Alice in Wonderland. New York: Gilberton Co.